Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Death is Surprisingly Complicated



Death seems to be a reoccurring theme lately in my conversations and observations. It sort of started when I started watching a TV series called "dead like me" (which is really good and I highly recommend). Although the show is more of a comedy than anything else, it deals a lot with death... obviously. It shows people mourning the loss of loved ones, people who have died asking "why me?" and other related emotions. It just really makes you realize that death is a part of life. Everyone dies.
I myself have experienced loss; 4 grandparents, an uncle, a cousin, close neighbors and family friends (not to mention the many pets). Over the years and throughout these tragedies I've discovered that everyone mourns in their own way. Some people cry, others laugh at good memories, and some try their best not to react at all. I know that when I learned someone close to me had passed away I was shocked, then sad, then relieved. It may sound a little barbaric but in some circumstances death can be welcomed. For example my uncle was an extremely unhealthy man. His body was just not able to function and it's a miracle that he was able to live as long as he did and that he was able to have a wife and son. I was there when he passed away. I know I shed a tear or two, but overall I was glad that he was moving on to a better place.
Although I have experienced loss, I have no idea how hard it would be to lose a best friend, a brother, a sister, or a child. Unfortunately my friend has lost his best friend and his brother and knows exactly the pain that comes with it. A few days ago would have been his brother's birthday. He takes the loss pretty well but his poor mother is having a very hard time with it. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to bury one of your own.
For the majority of my life I thought death was pretty simple. You die. The end. But I was wrong. There's so much that still remains after you die. All the people who knew and loved you. All the memories that you're in. I know we feel like it at times, but no one in this world is alone. There is always someone who knows you, cares for you, and will remember you long after you're gone. I've rambled quite enough by now but I just want to say that death really is just a part of life. It's ok to mourn in any way you feel comfortable with. I think the important thing is that we remember those we loved; and don't wait until they're gone to let them know you care about them.